OK…Aren’t you happy?

Got into an interesting conversation recently about happiness, at least I think it was. It all started when one of my colleagues, a true Renaissance Man, shared an email he had sent to another group of colleagues after a conversation about the leadership, or lack thereof, being demonstrated by political leaders viz. the pandemic. [I am removing the names in the event that you know any of them, as esteemed as that knowledge would be.]

The initial comments were something like this:
Let us not follow vulgar leaders who exploit the fear of death and make promises
but have nothing to offer.
Some leaders use threats. They want to herd people toward their own goals.
We must not fear death.
We must be happy.
True spirituality is liberation.
If we attain freedom from the fear of death, there is no need for false leaders.

There was some exchange of e-mails and then another colleague mentioned:
I agree with most of the thoughts you offer in your message to the…. The only one I question is: “We must be happy.” As Professor Tennyson (sp?) once said, happiness is for the pigs.

The initial conversant replied:
But if you recall Professor Tennyson was one of the happiest and most carefree professors on the campus. He relished shocking us by saying that happiness is for the pigs and then invited one and all for drinks and laughter and wit. To sum up, he was one happy pig.

This then brought another response:
I do remember his wonderful presentation at the U of A Faculty Club “Happiness is for the pigs”

At this juncture, I decided to arouse and enter into the conversation
Happiness is a most desired state…. but before we can get there, we must laugh, and laugh often… it is more than medicine, it is the visual demonstration that we are alive, energized and willing to concede that others are more worthy than we are and therefore we can even laugh at ourselves….
Before I go to sleep EACH NIGHT, I think of something that makes me laugh out loud… Most of the time it relates to something that I did that was neither the coolest nor the sanest…but boy was it funny…
That’s what makes me among the happiest people on the planet…
Of course, having you both in my sphere is also a very happy moment… which reminds me — I always have good scotch and good wine in my study — when you get the opportunity, come and visit — we will enjoy fine drinks and many laughs…

Then the respondent in the conversation make the following observation:
Thanks a lot for writing, Glenn.
It makes me happy to know you are happy yourself.
Also, it makes me happy to know you have a well-stocked study. I would love to try a taste or two some day (if we are ever allowed to travel again.)
In the meantime, you inspire me to think about the meaning of “happiness.”
Perhaps I have been too influenced by Buddhists– or perhaps, as was claimed, I had a bad birth. In any event, I continue to think that happiness is for the pigs (with notable exceptions, of course).

And this got my thinking some more, especially during the night when I was having really bizarre dreams (which I won’t go into because you need to be happy today and they tended towards a more confused state of affairs). The thrust of my reflections was: Does being happy, or perhaps living in a state of happiness, mean that one is happy with everything that happens? There are times when things happen, words are said, opportunities are missed, where I have to admit that I was not happy about those moments. But I still, in the overall sense, remained happy. In large part this occurs because I cannot see the benefit of being unhappy.

I have known a number of people who always seem to be unhappy – they don’t seem to be all that joyful about life. And I wonder how that can be. Am I that different? Is it because I thought very early in life: if I made it to thirty-five, I’d be fairly lucky? Moreover, once I did and I felt I had accomplished all the tangible goals I maybe once held [e.g. had played goal in hockey, although not well and certainly not in the NHL; had been a lead singer in a rock & roll band, although it broke up the night before its first gig; had been in the pulpit, but really was not recognized as a leading theologian; and as a bonus, had been married with two great kids, but the marriage itself had dissolved] everything going forward would be a bonus! And I should mention, I have been loved since then and even in love… so I’m happy about all of this!!

Now there is a caveat. I do not equate happiness with optimism. I try to keep a positive outlook on life and I do believe in miracles (and even the presence of angels), but I am realistic enough to know that not everything will turn out to be in a perfected state. Being optimistic doesn’t even require one to be an optimist. But the real foundational piece is to be happy. Don’t settle for being content – you can’t share contentment. Be happy – happiness can be shared, it can even be contagious (and it doesn’t need to lead to lockdowns unless of course the lockdown is a happy, joyous one that might even lead to a perfect moment!!).

So take a step outside, no matter how cold or how dismal or how nonchalant the day might be, and just be happy. Smile and rejoice, for the world itself is celebrating its happiness in the fact that it still has you on the planet!! And even that fact makes me happy, all over again…

Have a great week leading up to Valentine’s Day… I’ll be back!!

As always,
g.w.