The Epistle of Q — Chapter Twenty

Q #1
Is Groundhog Day sexist or simply politically incorrect?

As I watched the news while at the gym this morning it struck me that there were no visible or even audible protesters at any of the celebrated Groundhog Day visitations. Why, you ask?
a) all the Goundhogs have male names (so I am assuming they are male or perhaps neutered)
b) they all were handled (as opposed to let meander on their own time into the light and onto a podium) in order to show whether there was any shadow for all to see
c) I think each event had a town cryer, which seems to be a throwback to a time when men actually ruled the world pretty much with impunity
d) looking for a shadow also seems to be very mysterious and may be a portend of political skulduggery where those in power are always looking for the dark side
OR
e) maybe it is all a plot to get us to read Fifty Sades of Gray and change our approaches to the other sexes…

I just really wonder why the “pc-police” were not out in force at least in Wiarton (which is not THAT FAR from TO, the centre of the known universe) to arrest the Cryer, protect Willie and generally belittle all those misguided folks who actually think a Groudhog is a climate change deny’r… I mean if Willie can tell us how much winter is left, and has been able to do this since like forever, why aren’t we taking him to Fort Mac to better gauge the impacts of industrial development there? I hope that by next year there is a full-fledged movement well established (perhaps by that mysterious group Avaaz) that flies in Neil Young, Leonard di Caprio, Jane Fonda and perhaps even the Minister in charge of Electoral Reform so they all can point to the immense cruelty being inflicted on these rodents when everyone knows that spring has already come courtesy of Rachael Carson.

And maybe while they are mounting that mega-protest, they could hold a snowmobile poker-rally in the same area to raise funds for the WWF. In fact, they might even consider inviting all the local owners of 4X4 trucks to come for a pre-spring mud-pull in the snow (funds raised could be directed to helping finance the local newspaper). They could also have an enormous bonfire courtesy of all the forest companies that won’t be shipping lumber to the USA and roast any rodent that didn’t want to voluntarily join in the festivities.

See what I mean — there is just so much to protest about this day. And as I look out into the dark of the early morning hours, I am sad that with all the serious matters to protest today, people have missed the most vital one of all. If only I could tweet, I’d send the Prime Minister and the President an invitation to jointly sponsor such a protest. What springs to mind in your view of this missed moment?

g.w.